Consensual Nonmonogamy: Expanding Psychologist Perspectives on Diverse Relationship StructuresCNM refers to romantic relationships in which partners agree to have more than one romantic and/or sexual partner(s).While CNM is a new term, there is a long history of polygamy within Islamic, Mormon and indigenous traditions (e.g. West African, Himalayan, and Celtic) that allowed for the marrying of multiple wives or husbands. While polygamy centers on the marrying of multiple partners, CNM relationships can include any relationship structure and typically falls under three categories, including:
Research suggests about 20% of people in the United States report practicing consensual nonmonogomy (CNM) at some point in their lives. As counseling psychologists and trainees, we must educate ourselves about CNM to remain culturally sensitive to the diverse relationship identities of the individuals we serve. Challenging A Monogamously-Biased Culture The dominant culture in the United States largely favors monogamy. This is evidenced in media that idealizes relationships in which an individual searches for and finds their “one true love.” The concept of marriage as a legally binding union for the purposes of financial and social benefits also points toward our bias in favor of monogamy. Because of this, individuals in CNM relationships experience significant stigma. Existing research notes 26-43% of individuals in polyamorous relationships report experiencing stigma. For example, people engaged in CNM are viewed as more promiscuous and more likely to have and spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than people in monogamous relationships. However, research refutes these perceptions. In actuality, individuals in CNM relationships tend to practice safer sex and are less likely to have STIs than monogamous individuals. This may be because 20-25% of people in monogamous relationships have extramarital sex and are less likely to openly discuss and plan safe sexual practices with partners than are CNM individuals. Examining the Benefits of CNM Despite negative assumptions made by society at large, research indicates CNM relationships offer as many (or more) benefits when compared to monogamous relationships. For example, individuals in CNM relationships tend to report higher levels of satisfaction, passion honesty, trust, and intimacy and lower levels of jealousy with respect to sex and their relationships compared to those in monogamous relationships. Improving Mental Health Care for CNM Clients Research suggests individuals in CNM relationships receive inadequate care from mental health professionals. In a study of 249 CNM therapy clients, about 38% reported their therapists to be clinically unhelpful due to the lack of knowledge about CNM. According to the study, the most reported unhelpful practices of therapists include:
Because of the stigmatization and psychological distress experienced by CNM individuals and reported negative experiences of CNM clients in healthcare settings, it remains crucial that we as mental health clinicians create safe spaces for individuals in nonmonogamous relationships. Taking Action The following lists action items we as counseling professionals can take to provide more clinically effective and culturally sensitive mental health treatment for CNM individuals:
In a society dominated by monogamy, individuals identifying as nonmonogamous remain vulnerable to experiencing stigmatization, which increases their risk of adverse psychological outcomes. Thus, we as counseling professionals must take responsibility in providing safe and inclusive spaces for CNM individuals to disclose and explore their relationship identities and receive the mental health care they deserve.
Posted on: March 03, 2022 |
Emma Deihl works as a family therapist with children and adolescents in a partial hospitalization program in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Emma earned her bachelor’s degree in English and Psychology at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa, and she completed her master’s degree in Clinical-Counseling Psychology at the University of Minnesota – Duluth. Her research interests include the effects of stigma on LGBTQ+ individuals and people living with HIV/AIDS, mental health treatments for gender diverse individuals with eating disorders, and the impact of diet culture on marginalized communities. In her spare time, Emma loves creative writing, hiking, reading, and traveling.